Page 9 - The Wynwood Times - 1st Edition

Vo l . 1 T H E W Y N W O O D T I M E S MAY 2015

Text by Sister Bertilla Placido • Illustration by Xiam Lee Wao

It’s undeniable that Wynwood Walls has become a temple to Tony Goldman’s
divine intervention. The notion has become gospel for those who credit him
with securing the bustling art district’s wondrous gentrification.

These days countless art worshipers and disciples of the venerated developer

throng to Wynwood Walls not unlike those faithful pilgrims who visit Lourdes
each year seeking miracles. Most of those who flock to Tony Goldman’s graffiti
shrine stop to pose in front of Shepard Fairey’s reverential portrait of the real
estate pioneer. Some consider Goldman a virtuous folk figure hailed as “Saint
Tony,” in the neighborhood.

Visit his hallowed site and it’s very likely you’ll discover people rushing to snap
selfies in front of Saint Tony’s glowing mural. In Fairey’s monumental piece

of art, Goldman is crowned with a shimmering cowboy hat instead of a halo.
Goldman’s charismatic figure even greets audiences with outstretched arms
and a beatific smile expressing his creative spirit.

Golden beams of light radiate from his imposing form, reflecting the grandeur
of Goldman’s holy presence. Did you know that Tony is a Latin name that means
“Above Praise” and Goldman a name of Old English origin that translates to

“Little Golden One?”

You might not even be aware that acolytes pray to him for divine intervention
in their real estate dealings.

Many have experienced his heavenly intercession in these issues. Befittingly, it

has become popular for those seeking a Wynwood location to appeal to Saint

Tony with a trusty Wynwood Real Estate Spell Kit that’s easy to create and

SAINT TONY MOJO regarded as highly effective. All you need to do is cut out this picture of San
Tonito and glue it over George Washington’s face on a dollar bill. Then write

your wish over Goldman’s righteous visage with a pencil, before rolling the bill into a tiny tube. Then you bind it tightly with a green ribbon.

Next, light a votive green candle and bury the dollar bill on the property you wish to buy or sell in Wynwood all the while concentrating
with fervor on Goldman’s glory and making money. When you have completed creating our foolproof Saint Tony’s Money-Making Mojo,

clasp your hands in prayer as you recite the following supplication:

Oh, Saint Tony, whose protection is so great, so strong, so prompt before the shrine of Wynwood Walls, I place in you all my interests and desires.
I also praise your enduring devotion and desire to serve and benefit your fellow man and the greater good of our community. Hear my earnest
plea Saint Tony as I implore you to help me now as you are helping many others with finding an art gallery, restaurant, night club or other
lucrative places of business. Let nothing impede my wishes with a rapid conclusion in these dark times of rampant gentrification. I beg this from
the goodness of your heart and also wish that you grant me access to rent stability in these difficult times, guide me to find safe parking during
the Second Saturday Art Walk and always bless me with VIP treatment at Wynwood Kitchen & Bar and Joey’s. Humbly, I beseech you to shower
me with your natural grace to keep City of Miami code enforcers at bay as I pursue my livelihood in Wynwood. For these, your Heavenly gifts, I
swear faithfully to you Saint Tony that you will receive my eternal gratitude and a place of honor in my business. Amen.

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